Saturday, August 10, 2013

pretty great

Many of the people I know are doctors and lawyers, bankers, professors, writers, successful businessmen. They live in big houses and drive fancy cars. They travel to interesting, exciting places I've never been.  I admire and respect them; their years of hard work have paid off.

While I am not the type to envy their life and the things I don't have, I sometimes find myself comparing my life in a critical way. I find myself making excuses for who I am and what I do: I'm just a tutor at the school. I majored in Sociology (insert my own eye-roll here). My house is old and small and we live in Payson ( head hung low). I can't afford to travel right now, but maybe someday.

I have no idea why I do this, but today I realized I have to stop. I like my life the way it is. My life is pretty great...

I like being a tutor at the school. I like working part time, being off with my kids and I love not being in charge. I like working with kids who need extra help because I love to see them progress. I make very little in terms of money, but the rewards I receive are many.

I loved studying Sociology. As much as I joke about how worthless it has been, it hasn't been worthless at all. Understanding how people function in groups? Priceless. If I ever have the desire and the resources to go to graduate school, all lined up at once, with no thought about the practicality of my choice, I might choose to study it all over again.

My house is old and small. It's in an old, some-say 'ghetto' neighborhood in a quirky little red-neck town. It often smells strange, like rotting wood and medicine, but it is comfortable and colorful and 'happy' as my kids' friends call it. I often think if we had more money we would buy a different house. One brand new, with lots of rooms and bathrooms to spare. But if I'm honest, we could have bought that house to begin with, but didn't, because I think that house is boring and bland. I like my house because it is a never-ending project, with things to paint and fix and build and improve. What would I do with a brand new house?

While I do hope to travel someday, I have to admit, I don't really like to travel. I blame it on a lack of money or time, or claim I need to be home with the kids, but truly, I like to be home because home is where I like to be. Fixing my house, improving my yard, enjoying my kids while they're here.

I like my life. It's simple but rich. I'm not important or wealthy or exciting at all, but I'm happy, because I am living the life I choose.

I will make excuses no more.